I sucketh

hank goodness for a new day...a fresh start....

THE BAD: So instead of eating my smart one like a good girl, I went to taco bell and paul made some yummy buttery popcorn and we hung out on the couch watching 24.

THE GOOD: I ate great all day instead of my old habits would have been well I messed up so I will start fresh on Monday. THAT NEVER works out good, so today has been successful. Dinner will be chinese with my parents, but I plan to eat light and SKIP the heavy saucy stuff.

AHH its hard having a birthday on week 4 of a diet....

Cake

I had some cake.....Chocolate cake with chocolate fudge filling. I have no idea how to calculate the points on it?? It was heavenly....delish.....and a must have for a birthday.

I also got some lotto tickets from a gal I work with and won $22! Now isnt that awesome!

I plan to have a smart one for dinner tonight. I told Paul it was PB&J night for him and the kids. I hope he did the dishes like I asked...there were a lot of them ;)

Strolling down memory lane...

Its my birthday...and I am 33. The age I swore I would be thin by....an age I used to think was old and that I would never make it too....is here....I'm 33 and still over weight, still struggling....BUT actually doing it this time.

I thought I would share a few pics I have on my fridge for inspiration.

This is me (with my mom)....going to prom in 1993. I was 145lbs, size 10....and had big hair LOL

This one is me in Maui. The trip that Paul asked me to be his wife. I was 160lbs and TAN...wow sooo tan and blond...ooooh so blond!! I thought I was fat.....seriously I would give a limb....ok maybe a toe to be this thin and tan right now! Well soon enough....Its only 35lbs away...and maybe a bunch of tanning sessions.

Chugging Along

That about sums it up. Im still not working out :( BOO ME! But I am feeling good...clothes are a tad looser. I am making better food choices and allowing myself little treats here and there with my points. So far this is the longest I have stuck to a diet err life change in years. Since 2004 really. I lost a bunch of weight then got pregnant with Jams...let the food flood gates open and got fat again. Which is why I thought I would do a blog to track my efforts. Maybe when I am thin again and add on 5lbs I can go back and read some of the old posts and see how sad being fat made me and LOSE it fast instead of gaining another 5 and so on.

Tomorrow is my birthday, my 33rd birthday WOW.... so there will be cake...and Outback (well on Sat) so I am going to allow myself to enjoy, but NOT to much. I am saving every last one of my 35 flex points for that night. Then Superbowl on Sunday....I am searching around for some low point snacks to have around so I can snack, but not over eat like I normally would.

Week 4

Well I can belive its week 4 and I have not had a breakdown and quit! GO ME!!

I did have jack in the box for dinner last night. BOO ME.....but I had not used any flex points this week so I think I probably used every last one with that meal. I will say I felt like DEATH after I ate it and still this morning.

Down 2lbs this week. 195. I actually saw 194.6 at one point, but I am sure the Jack in the box messed that up LOL!

Heres to a GREAT week 4!!!

A day off...

I had to take the day off yesterday...Jack has pink eye. I did ok with my eating. Stayed within my points, but man its hard to be home...out of my eating/water routine.

the scale has only budged a lb this week so far...so going to be extra good this weekend and hopefully bump the # up to 2lbs or so.

I cant wait for my clothes to start feeling a bit looser...maybe week 6-7??

Seriously can I please workout? I have yet to do that at week 3 and I know that I would be losing a tad more plus building my muscle back up. I just havent found the drive to add that extra into my week.

It was almost 70 degrees for over a week...um yeah nice time to at least walk outside...NOPE..and today its back to the rain!

Snacky McSnackerson

Why today can I not feel full?

Why today can I not stop the urge to want to eat?

I didnt even leave for lunch today in fear that the fat girl would take over the dieting girl and stop at her most favorite place to eat. TACO BELL

I have had a few snacks this afternoon. I am still well within my points and wont need to dig into my flex points. I need to go get a few more snacks that are a bit more filling, Maybe some turkey or bring an english muffin.

Im not hungry and I am pretty busy at work..but the BIG girl inside wants a snack LOL!

maybe I need to make a lap around the parking lot.

**coming tomorrow** Some skinny girl pics. Ones I have on my fridge for motivation. Ones I look back and think WOW I was HOT....and at the time the picture was taken I was thinking WOW I am FAT. Go figure!

Weigh-in

Well I am down 2.4 lbs. I think it would have been another lb if I had actually stuck to drinking some water this weekend. I also ate out twice and didnt make the best choices ever.

but 2.6 is something to be proud of.

I was in a funk all weekend...and it crept into today. I think I am PMSing, but since I have the IUD I dont get AF anymore, so its hard to tell. I hope thats all it is though..probably a combo of that and not eating like I should have been.

I am walking today at lunch and going to try and do some sort of workout on Fit Tv tonight. I vowed I would start working out this week so I HAVE TO!!!!

The weekend ahead

So I had some coffee at Starbucks last night...a Grande even....8pts, but I was still under for the day. It was delish!!

I am feeling thinner....not so bloated and it doesnt hurt to suck in my stomach anymore!

This weekend I have to STAY STRONG. Its always harder being home and not on a normal 8-5 schedule for eating. I dont seem to want to eat breakfast but I know that helps keep my metabolism going so I will VOW to eat breakfast both days. No Starbucks at church...that my weekly thing...and definitly no gooey maple bar. They are probably easily 15pts for one donut.

I am excited for Mondays weigh-in, hoping for another 3lbs!!

180lbs here I come!!! Once I hit that goal my next will be 160....then anything below that is uncharted territory for me. Well I did get around 156 RIGHT before I got prego with Jams and then gained 45lbs while prego with her...DANG eating for two theory.

Heres hoping you all stay strong and dont give in to temptation over the weekend!!!

I survived!!!

a craving....

Today I wanted to have something "out" since I have been eating my frozen meals all week for lunch. My old stand bys Chipotle and Togos are to far away. I look up taco bell 15pts, mcdonalds, 11pts, KFC 9pts with no dressing....WAHH No wonder I am fat!!

Then she did it...

my co-worker walks in with freaking McDonalds...Big Mac and Large Fries. How dare she!!! I gave her crap for bringing it in here in all its glory and she offers me some. UM NO THANKS!!! I am normally not a big fan of McDons but when I am having a moment and its in my face man oh man its smeeeeelllls good!!!

I settle on Subway, which is not my favorite....but I can get a sandwich for 6pts. Then I remember I had my taco soup in the fridge!! 2pts!! So I am eating that now with a diet A&W.

Jen 1 Fast Food 0

Tonight I am saving points for some starbucks. Me and some girlfriends get together once a month and have coffee and talk. So will it be 6pts for a small (WAHH I LOVE VENTI) non-fat white choc mocha and sip it slooooow...or should I bring my own coffee with my pack of hot chocolate for 2pts??

Another day

I am feeling so much more in control of at least my eating. Its amazing what a little tiny bit of willpower will do. I tried weight watchers in the past but didn't keep great track of my eating and also would say well I have 24 pts today, let eat a huge slice of 10pt cake instead of knowing that would throw off my whole day in a BIG way.

I am feeling closer to God....praying daily that He helps me get stronger and fight the urge to cheat and I notice that the things I used to want and used to cheat on I am fighting off. **cough Starbucks cough** I love feeling in control. I love feeling stronger and each craving I fight off I feel empowered. That may sound silly, but its true.

here is to STRONG EMPOWERED WOMEN getting SKINNY!!

Shout out to my girls on the diet wagon!!!

Michelle....Lindsay....Katie....Sheri....Angela.....Deanne..... girls each one of you are helping me on this journey and I am grateful for your kind words and encouragement!!

Weigh In

I am down 3lbs this week. I am very happy and very proud I have stuck to something for an entire week LOL! I am moving down to 24pts this week which is 2 points lower, but since I broke the 200lbs mark I have to. I also REALLY need to get moving this week even if its just walking at lunch to start.

My weekend went decent. I did have a starbucks, but I added it into my points and only went over by 2 on that day. I do get 35 flex points to use where ever I need them throughout the week, but I try and not use them to lose faster.

Me and the Marvelous Michelle did a ton of texting to keep each other accountable and both made some taco soup (2pt's)

Day 5

Praying for strength: CHECK
Eating better: CHECK
Losing each day: CHECK
Feeling better: CHECK

And...my pimples are going away LOL! AHH who knew not eating crap and grease could also clear up my skin.

So anyone doing WW that has any good meals, recipes, snacks that work for them...leave me a comment and let me know! (you like how I assume someone else reads this LOL)

Yesterdays eating:

Thursday Jan 8, 2009 - 201
Oatmeal 3
Coffee/Hot chocolate 2
Soup 6
String Cheese 2
Diet A&W 0
Special K Bar 3
2 eggs 4
English Muffin 1
Diet A&W 0
6 mini rice cakes 3
Total Points 26
Points used 24
Points left 2

2nd chance..or was is 10th?

well here I am again...New Year, New Try!!

I started again on Monday the 5th, with my friend Michelle (who I have to come up with a catchy nickname for LOL) to do weight watchers.

202.4 was my high.

so no blogging about how things used to be anymore...or how I am now... I want to focus on who I am going to be next week, next month, next summer (when I wear a bathing suit)

GOD give me the strength to fight this battle EVERY minute of every day...and when I fall be there to pick me up and shove a carrot in my mouth!!