Monday 9/29

so my weekend was decent. Had a couple of coffees and some mac and cheese last night. Didnt workout, but didnt go HOG wild like I usually do.

Monday:
B: Banana
L: smart one
S: pretzels

Friday 9/26

wow my mid section is hurting! Who knew belly dancing could provide sore muscles LOL! I enjoyed that one and plan to add it into my weekly routine.

Still at 188 today, but thats ok. I am very proud that I have done so well this week and will continue to do so all weekend! I hope Monday shows a few more lbs gone!

B: banana, water
L: Caesar salad
D: sausage, noodles, brocoli and I SKIPPED the pumpin pie and cool whip for dessert!
S: small bowl of crispex (dry)

today my kids got into a car accident while running errands with their sitter. Jams is fine, Jack is all banged up :( He has a black eye and forehead, scratches under and above his eye. It was almost swollen shut by the time I got to the ER.

Now all the mommy guilt is taking its toll. Do I find a new sitter who doesnt have other kids she has to take and pickup from school? Right now we just cant afford for them to be in a daycare center where I know they are better off and it kills me. Makes me feel like somehow I have failed them and that I had to stick them some where they are not safe. Which my brain knows isnt the case. Their sitter is a nice lady who takes great care of them....and the accident could have happened when they were being watched by me, my mom...anyone.

Thursday

so another good day!

B: oatmeal, water
L: salad
D: Mongolian bbq (noodles, meat, bean sprouts and cabbage)
S: few handfuls of Crispix cereal

20 min belly dancing workout.

Wednesday

b: English muffin
l: Caesar salad, water
d: spaghetti, salad

Tonight is small group but I still plan to do my 20 mins of cardio after we get home and get the kids to bed.

I weighed in at 188.2 this morning...so down 3.5lbs since Monday. I'm sure some of its water weight because good ole AF is still making her appearance. I swear the IUD is the culprit. Zits...cramps, periods all over the place....UGH!

I managed to avoid the brownies and coffee cake we took to small group and did a 20 min upper body workout when I got home.

Tuesday

I want a Mr. Goodbar.....

but instead I ate

NOTHING for breakfast because my work ran out of bowls.
L: smartone, water
D: chicken breast, 2 potatoe fries and corn
S: Diet a&w and popcorn

I didnt exercise. AF is still lingering and making me feel like crapola!!

Back to the grind

I know I know how many times have I said this? A GAZILLION Im sure!

I weighed in today and was back up to 191.7lbs. WHAT? I knew I gained..pants were tighter but never imagined it was 12lbs BACK :(

Mondays eating:
B: oatmeal, water
L: salad, water
D: Turkey meatballs, rice, greenbeans, diet a&w
S: popcorn, diet a&W

I did a show on FIT TV today. It was 20 mins and combined light weights with upperbody, squats and situps. I am proud for having a great day.

I am committing to
1. drink only one diet soda a day and 8 glasses of water
2. work out 6 days this week for at least 20 mins


My goal is 150lbs by my 33rd birthday. 40lbs in 4 mos...I have done it before..actually lost more weight....it was HARD but I see the pics of myself at 155 and LOVE IT!

I posted a few pics on the sidebar, one is me at 221 (Aug 07), and one of me at 196 which was a few months ago.

I was at 213 by Oct of last year..and have managed to lose 23 more lbs in that past year. TO SLOW for my own good! So I am stepping it up! P has 20lbs to lose so he is on board and eating healthy and tonight is going out to run!

where does the time go?

so I suck. thats the end of the story. I have sucked at working out. Sucked on eating right, sucked on keeping up with this blog. Sucked at keeping my house clean, sucked at being a mom, sucked at being a wife....

today is a new day. I didnt even weigh myself knowing it would be HIGH...real HIGH. Im sure I have crept back on at least 10lbs. I know thats what my clothes are telling me.

I am emotionally spent today...but I know out of all the crap going on in my life..this is the ONLY thing I have control over.....the only thing....so I better TAKE CONTROL!

Saturday/Sunday - Sucky McSuckerson!

well I SUCK!

Not only did I not work out Friday and didnt work out today either...I have no time to work out tommorrow. I know I know excuses excuses!!

Monday is a new day! I WILL ELLIPTICAL since I cant run. P has band practice and doesnt get hom until its well past 9.

Friday

b: banana, water
l: chicken caesar pita
d: Chili's...um guess what I had. Caesar Pita! I know gross huh! I am an addict, but honestly after I have the last one today I am over caesar salad LOL! Also some soup and a little pile of cheese bacon fries. (I cant resist those dang things)

So well I didnt get my run in...which sucks for me since now I have to run both today and Sat. My own fault...but my head was pounding!

I weighed this am and was down .4lbs. I got totally discouraged and then reazlied its only been 3 days...what do I expect?! So I hope when I weigh in next Friday for a much better (higher) number of lbs lost!

Thursday

b:oatmeal, water, coffee
l: caesar salad with chicken, water (you will see how I obsess over a food until I cant eat it anymore then move onto something else LOL)
s: carrot sticks and ranch
d: sausage, noodles, brocoli, diet A&W
s: 100 cal popcorn

So I didnt hold the cheese and I didnt do any sort of working out last night, but I got in all my water and didnt hog down on dessert at small group. Baby steps LOL

tonight is night 2 of my run/walk and also my pushups! I hope to do a few more this time without colapsing.

Wednesday

b:coffee, banana, water
l: chicken Caesar salad, water
s: carrot sticks with ranch, 3 crackers
d: 2 chicken soft tacos and I DIDNT hold the cheese!
s: one cookie at small group

Tonight we have small group which means eating out somewhere. I think I will go to Chipolte so I can get a chicken bowl...hold the sour cream and cheese please! I only get to see my kids for about an hour tonight :( Tomorrow they start a new daycare and I am to say the least VERY NERVOUS. I am totally comfortable with the lady and the place....they have just never been left with someone I haven't known.

I am feeling really good today. I know its only been almost 2 days, but I just FEEL like its my time to succeed with this once and for all! I am planning on no snacks tonight before bed. Wish me luck on that one...its my biggest downfall.

Good ole Aunt Flo

...This is an actual letter from an Austin , TX, woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award- winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants!

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the female human body amazing?!

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, Sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me!? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actualsmiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull****. And that's a promise I will keep -- Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

tuesday

b: banana
s: slim fast shake
l: Caesar salad with chicken, croutons and shredded parm cheese, 8oz water
d: calzone, diet A&W
S: 100 cal pack of popcorn

Tonight I did my first day of Couch to 5K and my road to 100 push-ups. I actually surprised myself and was able to run without many problems. I even ran a bit more than the plan suggested since IT FELT REALLY GOOD. Did I just type that?

Now to the push-ups. It tells you to test yourself before you start to see where you fall into the plan. I did FOUR. Yeah four decent push-ups and the 5th I crumbled! I managed to do the first 4 sets without much problems (I only had to do 2 pushups each time)...then came the last set...only having to do 3, I figured NO PROBLEM! Yeah not so much....I did one...the 2nd barely and the 3rd was a joke...my arms were shaking so BAD. I was just glad that P didnt walk in at that moment as I would DIE to tell him oh yeah...that was only pushup #3!

So all in all I had a great day. Tomorrow I plan to do some light weights since I have small group until 9pm-ish. I mean I could get up before work..but lets face it...thats not happening YET!

my weight

well sadly its still a struggle - DAILY!

I feel like for the past 10 years everyday thoughts of "should I be eating this?" or "man I need to lose more weight" are always running through my head.

well I am DONE, TIRED of the WEIGHT. Tired of talking about it, tired of thinking about it. JUST TIRED OF IT.

I am currently weighing 183. I was down to 179 but a few lbs slowly crept back on in the past 2 weeks. So today I am VOWING to get down to business. I started reading this blog. Seeing the daily posts of another mom of two who's starting weight was close to my own has got me inspired again.

So tomorrow I am going for a run..well probably more of a walk, but I need to do something physical.

I started this journey at 211 back in um.....1999 I think. Lost 51lbs in a quick amount of time doing what me and my friend called the CRACK DIET! It consisted of 45 mins of cardio a day, 1/2 of a meal replacement shake for breakfast, the other half at 10am, chicken and 1/2 cup of rice of lunch, another 1/2 shake at 3pm and the same as lunch again for dinner but with a veggie. And Hydroycut 2x a day. This is back when ephedrine was legal and the weight fell off both of us QUICK. We lived together so it helped to have someone else in my face daily doing the SAME exact thing.

I managed to hang out around 160lbs until 2004 when P and I decided to try for a baby. I then started back up dieting and lost another 5 lbs and got prego that next month. I gained 45lbs while being prego with Big J and never lost it after she was born...then in 06 got prego with Little J and gained 20ish lbs and was back up!!

So there I was a mom to 2 beautiful kids....weighing a whopping 221lbs! WOW just to type is makes me SAD! Somehow in the past year I have managed through many short attempts at losing to drop 38lbs. I can fit into most size 14's and all my 16's can come off without even unzipping.

I see pictures of our trip to Maui in 2000 and our wedding in 2004 and think WOW I WAS HOT! At the time I still felt like a whale and wanted to lose another 20lbs. Well what I wouldn't do to be that small now LOL

so tomorrow is the day. I have to get down to 160lbs by the end of the year. Celebrate the new year with a new weight and a new outlook on this part of my life.

so I hope to inspire at least one other person ...someone I know or maybe someone I don't know as JKW has inspired me!