my weight

well sadly its still a struggle - DAILY!

I feel like for the past 10 years everyday thoughts of "should I be eating this?" or "man I need to lose more weight" are always running through my head.

well I am DONE, TIRED of the WEIGHT. Tired of talking about it, tired of thinking about it. JUST TIRED OF IT.

I am currently weighing 183. I was down to 179 but a few lbs slowly crept back on in the past 2 weeks. So today I am VOWING to get down to business. I started reading this blog. Seeing the daily posts of another mom of two who's starting weight was close to my own has got me inspired again.

So tomorrow I am going for a run..well probably more of a walk, but I need to do something physical.

I started this journey at 211 back in um.....1999 I think. Lost 51lbs in a quick amount of time doing what me and my friend called the CRACK DIET! It consisted of 45 mins of cardio a day, 1/2 of a meal replacement shake for breakfast, the other half at 10am, chicken and 1/2 cup of rice of lunch, another 1/2 shake at 3pm and the same as lunch again for dinner but with a veggie. And Hydroycut 2x a day. This is back when ephedrine was legal and the weight fell off both of us QUICK. We lived together so it helped to have someone else in my face daily doing the SAME exact thing.

I managed to hang out around 160lbs until 2004 when P and I decided to try for a baby. I then started back up dieting and lost another 5 lbs and got prego that next month. I gained 45lbs while being prego with Big J and never lost it after she was born...then in 06 got prego with Little J and gained 20ish lbs and was back up!!

So there I was a mom to 2 beautiful kids....weighing a whopping 221lbs! WOW just to type is makes me SAD! Somehow in the past year I have managed through many short attempts at losing to drop 38lbs. I can fit into most size 14's and all my 16's can come off without even unzipping.

I see pictures of our trip to Maui in 2000 and our wedding in 2004 and think WOW I WAS HOT! At the time I still felt like a whale and wanted to lose another 20lbs. Well what I wouldn't do to be that small now LOL

so tomorrow is the day. I have to get down to 160lbs by the end of the year. Celebrate the new year with a new weight and a new outlook on this part of my life.

so I hope to inspire at least one other person ...someone I know or maybe someone I don't know as JKW has inspired me!