In a funk today. One of those days where you want to be alone somewhere...no kids, no husband, no work, no phone...maybe a big comfy bed or a pedicure chair. I got up and ran, only a mile, just wasnt feeling it. Came home and fell back asleep to my husband telling me it was 7:15..um ok Im late! Then I get in the car, KLOVE is on with Selah. The host is talking about how she lost someone and hadnt taken the time to grieve. I feel like I am ok most of the time about my losing my mom, I only feel sad when it hits me unexpected that she is gone. Like when I am driving home and think to call her....nope, or see a picture of her....that I wasnt expecting to see (posted by someone else on facebook). So I have never grieved anyone, maybe I have not fully accepted that she is gone, maybe that combined with the stresses of money and life and weight right now are all bundled together in this massive feeling of being lost and confused.
I know part of my problem is I am SO far away from God right now. I see and feel little things that are Him pulling me back, trying to get me to reconnect, but I am resisting and I dont know why. I believe, I go to church, I know he has/will forgive me when I do reach out to him again.
Just waiting for my cloud to lift.....
3 comments:
Oh girl I so feel u! Sometimes I get so hungry for Jesus that it hurts. I want to get back to those times of deep worship and the love affair I had going with Him. Let's try to get close to jesus again as much as were trying to lose weight. This is a rewarding journey.
I'm sorry that you're having a horrible day!! Take it as your body's way of telling you need a rest. Not only from working out, but mentally as well. You have been through so much lately. I'm sending prayers your way and hoping that things get a little easier for you. I know it will take some time!
So sorry you are not doing well. Don't let the devil get between you and God!
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